Review: The Ultimate Guide to Kink

The Ultimate Guide to Kink front cover The Ultimate Guide to Kink is edited by Tristan Taormino, a well-known author, sex educator and director of pornographic films. Essays by several other sex educators are included on a number of aspects of kink.

If you skipped over the contents page and just read the introduction and first couple of chapters, you might get the impression that this is a book for beginners. Meanings of the various roles and acronyms are explored, as are the basics of things like consent, safety and impact play, all which experienced kinksters are likely to be well aware of. The further you get into the book, the more you wonder who the intended audience is. There are many types of play featured that require quite a lot of care and experience to do safely and/or are likely to “squick” newbies and the less open-minded. I’m talking about things like fisting (vaginal and anal), needle play and mind fucks and taboo forms of roleplay. I have no problem with these things and in fact rather like that they are included. It means that the book covers topics that many other kink books only mention briefly or shy away from altogether. The age play chapter was particularly of interest to me because it focused on sexual age play, something that I had difficulty finding information on elsewhere. I just have to hope that their inclusion in a book that beginners may well be likely pick up doesn’t put some people off kink entirely.

Each chapter is written by a different author, which certainly provides a range of perspectives and writing styles but the book is somewhat disjointed and repetitive as a result. The authors usually include safety information about the topic they’re writing about. Instead of focusing only on that topic, precautions that relate to a number of aspects of kink are often stated as well. Safety is of course important, but reading “oh and make sure to give the bottom a cuddle afterwards” over and over gets annoying. It does however mean that you can just read the chapters that interest you and not miss out on anything too important.

This book is likely of more limited use to those who practice D/s without S&M, but otherwise it is inclusive of most types of kinksters. Many chapters are useful to both tops and bottoms. Other chapters are specific to one type of role, but dominants, submissives, sadists and masochists are all represented in these.

This isn’t likely to be a book you’ll read from cover to cover. Many topics are included. Some will interest you, others won’t. It doesn’t cover everything (naturally), but it’s certainly nice to see the inclusion of types of play that don’t usually get much of a mention in kink books. I’m not sure I’d recommend it to beginners due to some of the more “extreme” types of play covered. It seems like Taormino’s other book, 50 Shades of Kink, might be a better option for those newer to kink but I can’t comment on it as I haven’t read it.

I try to read as much about kink as I can and still feel that The Ultimate Guide to Kink was able to provide me with a lot of interesting information.

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Deviant’s Favourite Sex Toys (2012-2014)

I’ve never done a post highlighting what I thought the best toys I reviewed in a given year were. Since I’m in my third year of reviewing, it seems difficult to start such a thing now when so many of my favourites wouldn’t get a mention as they were reviewed when my blog was only in it’s infancy. So, I give you my favourites across all the years I have reviewed (so far) with the aim of producing “Best of Year X” posts in the future!

It was rather difficult to narrow down some categories down to a one or two toys. Check my toy box for products with hearts next to them for a broader view of my favourites.
Tantus Anaconda Black Silicone Dildo

Best Dildo: Tantus Anaconda.

The ridged head, lack of flexibility, matte texture and large size can make this dildo feel brutal at times, but I’ll be damned if my vagina doesn’t feel amazing whenever I work up the courage to use it. The handled design is unique and good for thrusting/partner use (plus it allows you to spank people with it). Definitely my favourite.

Runner up: Jopen Key Comet Wand (not yet reviewed, but fantastic G-spot stimulation).

Fun Factory Big Boss BlackBest Internal Vibrator: Fun Factory Big Boss/Fun Factory Stronic Eins.Fun Factory Stronic Eins Purple

I told myself I’d only pick one toy per category (with the possibility of some runner ups), but I can’t choose between the Big Boss and the Stronic Eins. Arguably the Stronic Eins doesn’t belong in this category because it thrusts rather than vibrates, but where else would I put it?

The Big Boss is large, rumbly, strong deliciousness. I compare all other internal vibrators I try to the Big Boss now. Terrible…

The Stronic Eins is just freaking amazing. It’s the ultimate toy for lazy masturbators who love thrusting.

Jimmyjane Form 2 Navy/SlateBest Clitoral Vibrator: Jimmyjane Form 2.

A lot of people hate the Form 2, which is fair enough. It has a tendency to go haywire (see the review for the full details). But it also happens to be the shape I find most stimulating. The Form 2 is easily my most used vibrator.

Runners up: Vibratex Mystic Wand (great for broad stimulation, cheap yet strong), We-Vibe Salsa (compact and strong pinpoint stimulation) and the Wahl (it’s extremely cheap, crazy strong and makes me squirt).

Tantus Ryder Butt Plug BlackBest Anal Toy: Tantus Ryder.

The Tantus Ryder is cheap and a good intermediate size. There’s not much more to say. It’s simple and it works.

Runner up: Njoy Pure Plugs.

Best Lubricant: Sliquid.

No parabens or glycerin to worry about. I love their thicker formulas (Sassy, Organics Gel). I really don’t use much else.

Wartenberg Wheel PinwheelBest Sensation Play Toy: Wartenberg Pinwheel.

An essential sensation play toy. They’re usually pretty cheap too. They looks scary, but won’t draw blood unless you’re really rough with them.

Runners up: Violet wand and Japanese clover clamps (not reviewed as these are produced by a variety of manufacturers).

 

Other categories:

I haven’t tried enough of each of the categories below to call any of them “the best”, but I will tell you my favourites based on what I’ve tried so far.

Impact toys – I like material variety too much to be able to pick.

Cock rings – good experiences with Cock-a-hoops (not reviewed) and Spartacus Crave.

Masturbation sleeves – Bride likes the GTC Spider and doesn’t see the need for an additional masturbator.

Vaginal/kegel balls – I’ve only tried Luna Beads but they’re great.

Positioning – I’ve only tried the Wedge and don’t see the need for much else.

Gags – Nothing stands out to me (I like variety).

Books – Nothing stands out to me, too many different genres within the broad “sex” category to pick just one or two.

Lingerie – Nothing stands out to me, too subjective based on body type.

Massage - Meh, depends whether you prefer an oil, candle or solid bar.

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My Doctor

Based (very closely) on a scene I did with Bride recently. It seems I have discovered a liking for age play. Enjoy!



Cute pink, t-bar shoes and white frilly socks for age play

I am but a child
With frills on my socks
Rainbows and unicorns on my shirt
And you are my doctor

So concerned you are
About my teeth and heartbeat
Patient and kind
Until I’m the least bit unwilling

The rope against my skin
Your hand against my thigh
A case full of tools
Your pristine coat

A needle for the pain
A scalpel for your research
Sealed up so crudely
You say it must be done

You pull down what once covered me
Take what once soothed me
Remove my last freedoms
And steal my innocence

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Review: SM 101

Front cover of SM 101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay WisemanUnlike books that document the experiences of BDSM practitioners, SM 101: A Realistic Introduction provides practical advice for getting started in doing BDSM yourself. From it’s title, you might think that this book only covers sadomasochism but in actuality bondage and D/s also feature prominently. It seems that SM, S/M or S&M, while mostly used to refer to sadomasochism specifically today, previously incorporated acts which we would now include as part of the BDSM acronym instead.

The author, Jay Wiseman, is a former Emergency Medical Technician and this is rather apparent in his writing. Safety is emphasized very strongly, to the point that it becomes a little tedious and over the top. A lot of it is solid advice though and I personally could have benefited from following some of the suggestions for playing with new people.

The majority of the book is instruction on how to top or dominate someone. It includes topics such as bondage, impact play and other methods of inflicting pain and how to train someone to be your submissive. There is enough information on rope bondage to get you started with tying someone up but beware if you’re a visual learner. Most of it is written description. The amazon product page for the book has the “look inside” feature, so you can see the contents (and therefore the other topics in the book) as well as the first few pages there.

Some of Wiseman’s safety views are controversial, particularly his opinion that there is no safe way to do breath play. You can read the essay that was included in the book on the subject here. If it’s something you’re interested in, I encourage you to do your own research. To his credit, the author does state that opinions about the safety of BDSM activities vary widely and strongly encourages the reader to not rely on the book as their sole source of information.

There are aspects of the book that could put certain people off. If you don’t view your interest in BDSM as a “lifestyle”, care little for formal or typical D/s protocols, and/or have no interest in attending BDSM events, parts of this book may very well annoy you. For example, the author does have rather strong opinions on things such as the meaning of collars and believes that anyone with a strong interest in BDSM should be involved in their local scene. He is ranty about feminism at times (though this mostly seems aimed at sex-negative and anti-kink feminists). While he does try to be inclusive of all genders and orientations, people of bisexual or pansexual orientation may feel unrepresented as he tends to write in heterosexual/homosexual terms.

As this book was published in 1998, it can be expected that some information is outdated. Wiseman recommends the use of lubricants containing nonoxynol-9 (a spermicide) and applying it directly to the genitals in the event of condom failure to help reduce the risk of STIs, but studies suggest it may actually increase the risk of transmission. He recommends BDSM news groups, periodicals and magazines as a means of getting in touch with one’s local community and similarly outdated methods for meeting partners. These days, most people are probably just going to point you to Fetlife. In the chapter on lubricants, there is no mention of silicone lube when it can now be found in most sex stores. Also, he spells dildos like “dildoes”. What’s up with that?

Overall, SM 101 is a decent introduction to BDSM. It would have been more useful for a top than it was for me (a bottom), but I did benefit from some of the safety information. For me personally, there was too much information on some topics (D/s interactions) and not enough on others (humiliation), but it’s impossible to please everyone. Most of the information included can be found online but a book on the subject can be useful in presenting you with information that you may not have otherwise thought to seek out yourself.

If you’re a novice top, dominant or switch who enjoys (or likes the idea of) inflicting physical pain and restraining a partner this book should be at least somewhat useful to you, but I agree with the author in that it shouldn’t be your only source of information.

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Review: Wahl

Wahl Massager pictured with its four attachmentsI was wary about purchasing the Wahl massager. Negative reviews aren’t exactly common (I’ve never read one) but I’m not a big fan of pinpoint stimulation. This became apparent when I started feeling I may have been a bit harsh in my Salsa review. Sure, the charging system is infuriating but otherwise the Salsa is a good toy. I just seem to prefer toys with dual or broad heads.

Like the Hitachi Magic Wand (now called the “Magic Wand Original“), it’s a mains powered device designed for the relief of muscle pain rather than the provision of orgasms, but naturally a lot of people prefer using it for the latter. As you can see in the picture, the cord is rather long, much more than that of the Magic Wand (2.7m/9ft vs 1.8m/6ft) which I like because my power strip is a fair distance from my bed.

When I first tried the Wahl, I could not figure out how to hold the damn thing in a way that was pleasurable. It felt heavy, awkward and just plain boring. Most people seem to prefer the knob shaped attachment, so I tried that first. Maybe I was so convinced that I preferred broad stimulation that I couldn’t relax and enjoy it, I don’t know. I tried each of the other attachments in desperation. They all felt the same.

I tend to move other pinpoint vibrators around a lot when I’m using them, but doing the same with the Wahl just doesn’t seem to work. I figured out that it felt best to use it the same way I use vibrators with broader heads: hold it firmly in one spot and only move it when I start to feel numb or too stimulated. I came pretty quickly after this and squirted. The only other time I’ve experienced this from a vibrator was the first time I used the Medisil Magic Touch, so it was a nice surprise. I manage to squirt about half of the time that I use it, so I’ve definitely learned to put towels down beforehand.

The Wahl loses considerable power when pressure is applied but since this is the case with so many vibrators, I’ve now learned to live with it. The vibrations are otherwise seriously intense. The first setting is enough to get me off most of the time, but the second setting really is something special. It’s a really deep, pulsating thumping sensation that usually gets me over the edge pretty quickly if I’ve become numb from the first setting.

Once I discovered how to best use the Wahl, I haven’t found the other attachments nearly as enjoyable as the knob shaped one. They’re too big and awkward.

Powerful vibrators are rarely whisper quiet but the Wahl manages to not be overly loud. It’s very quiet if an attachment isn’t pushed into place. The attachments increased the noise level quite a bit (some more than others) but using it under a quilt/doona seems to muffle even this almost completely.

The Wahl runs on 120v power, so you’ll need a voltage converter/transformer to use it in Australia. I got one with my violet wand but it stays at Bride’s place so now I’ll have to get another. Boo.

Other than the weight and size, the only other real negative is the fact that the attachments are made of PVC. This is something that really put me off, but hey, powerful vibrators can be hard to come by. It unfortunately means that they are porous and that they can never be thoroughly cleaned, so avoid sharing with anyone you don’t share bodily fluids with.

I definitely enjoyed the Wahl a lot more than I thought I would. Even with shipping from the US, the Wahl only cost me AU$32 (though keep in mind the potential costs of a transformer) which is amazing considering how much power it has.

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Posted in Reviews, Vibrators | 3 Comments

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