Review: Tantus Silk (Small)

Photo of pink Tantus Silk (Small) next to pot plantsWith a diameter of 0.8″/2cm and a length of 4.25″/10.8cm, the Tantus Silk (Small) is a seriously tiny dildo (the smallest in my collection!)  If a small dildo intrigues you because you don’t have a lot of experience with penetration, sometimes/always find penetration painful or uncomfortable or you’d like a warm up toy, read on! If you (only) like large dildos, now might be the time to move onto some of my past Tantus reviews instead (I really like the Anaconda).

Due to it’s small size, the Silk is rather flexible. I found the curve was enough to give me a decent amount of G-spot stimulation. It’s not as intense compared to toys that have ridged/bulbous heads or are very firm, but that is to be expected. If you require a lot of pressure, larger, firmer toys targeted specifically for G-spot stimulation may be preferable.

You might not think there is much point in owning a dildo that isn’t much wider than an index finger, but there are several situations when using it instead of a finger may be beneficial:

  • If you have pelvic pain (or even if you don’t), fingering yourself can require some contortion, causing your abdominal and pelvic muscles to tense up in the process. Using the Silk can lessen this, allowing for a more comfortable experience. Additionally, while the Silk is short, it’s still more length than I can manage while fingering myself.
  • No need to worry about sharp fingernails, the cleanliness of your hands or dirtying your finger (might be a concern for anal play particularly).
  • This is perhaps a quirk of mine, but I like having one hand free while masturbating to spread my labia in order give my vibrator/other hand better access to my clitoris (it typically feels better and gives me stronger and quicker orgasms). Due to it’s short length and lack of weight/bulk, I’m able to thrust with the Silk and hold a vibrator to my clit with the same hand.

The Silk is likely a good introduction to insertables for those whose have little to no experience with penetration (whether vaginal or anal) or are nervous about using a large toy. Even if you’ve had a lot of experience with penetration, it can be nice to have around if you’re not always up to using larger toys or want something to warm up with. Paired with the other two sizes in the Silk range (medium and large), it makes for a high quality dilator set. If you’d like something slightly larger, the Tantus Sport is a good option (as are other small Tantus dildos such as the Acute and the Slow Dive). For something with a bit a texture, check out the Splish.

Thanks to Tantus for sending me the small Silk to review!

Posted in Dildos, Reviews | Leave a comment

Attending Your First Munch

Attending a munch or other BDSM event for the first time can be intimidating, especially if you’re shy. Being active in my local scene never used to interest me, but I’ve started getting involved a bit. Here are some tips that helped me.

Join Fetlife to find events in your location (either under the ‘events’ tab or advertised in groups specific to your region).

By Edvard Munch and what I probably looked like before, during and after my first munch, so it's relevant (right?)

By Edvard Munch, and what I probably looked like before, during and after my first munch, so it’s totally relevant (right?)

  • Consider going to a workshop first. Some consider munches to be the best introduction to the local scene, but I found it easier to attend one after having first gone to a workshop (even now, I go to many more education based events than social ones). Since workshops are focused on teaching skills/concepts, there isn’t as much pressure to socialize. You’ll likely still meet people, but it’s less intimidating and it may mean there are some familiar faces at any future munches you attend. This is easiest if there are workshops on topics that interest you in your area. Some workshops require that you bring a partner to help you practice what is being taught, which might make this less practical for singles – read the event description or ask if this is a requirement. Workshops that are based on concepts and/or have no practical component are likely suitable for everyone, however.
  • Contact the organizer. Event organizers are usually willing and able to either meet you before the event or at least keep an eye out for you and make sure you feel welcome. Contact them, let them know it will be your first event and bring up any concerns or questions you have. You might like to ask them what the atmosphere of the event is like, how many people usually attend etc.
  • Choose smaller events over larger ones. It’ll probably be less intimidating. You can usually get an idea of the number of people that attend each munch by looking at how many mark their attendance on Fetlife. Be aware that not everyone does this and some do and then don’t show up. Don’t be intimidated by a lot of ‘maybes’ – in my experience, few that mark ‘maybe’ actually attend.
  • Go to an event in another city/country. While obviously not practical for everyone, I found that I was a lot more comfortable attending events back at home after I had attended events during a summer school course overseas. If you can accomplish going to an event in an unfamiliar country alone (at home I normally attend events with Bride), surely anything is possible? In case I’ve made this sound too scary, remember that after the holiday is up you’re much less likely to see these people or the munch location again than if you were to attend an event in your city of residence (if it goes badly/is completely awkward, it’s easier to pretend it never happened!).
  • Don’t be discouraged if the first one isn’t great. You might find that you are able to have more satisfying conversations at future events as you become more comfortable and get to know people better. If the munch was just horrible and you have no desire to go back, there may be more than one munch group in your city. It might take some time/exploring to find a group that you gel with. It’s also ok if you find that events aren’t for you. Being kinky does not mean that you have to attend munches or any other type of BDSM event.
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Things I Never Thought I’d Like: Feet

It’s been almost a year. Sorry about that, folks! Hopefully I’m able to get back into blogging regularly again. I can’t blame health stuff as much as uni for my lack of activity. It’s probably a good time to get my “new found interest” out of the way.

I haven’t been shy about expressing my disdain about things happening to my feet in the past. I was at least aware that having my feet touched didn’t always feel bad (to the point of creating a list of acceptable scenarios), though I wasn’t exactly positive about any of it.

Having my bottom caressed after a caning is really soothing, and unfortunately this carries over to feet.

Touching my feet to warm them up is almost welcomed.

I admitted it could be part of foreplay, but only in the sense that it led to sex for some reason. How did I describe it as making me feel? Annoyed.

Bride and I have little play fights where he tries to touch them, and I try to make sure he doesn’t. […] Adrenaline is pumping and I am annoyed at him. He starts touching me in other places, then I am horny and annoyed at him. I resist a bit, and it ends up being the perfect setting for some rape play.

So, what has changed? Why do I suddenly like having my feet touched?

  • Light touch is usually still ticklish (especially if it’s focused on the toes) but I’ve discovered that touch with some pressure behind it can feel really nice
  • I like that Bride likes touching them because of my conflicted reaction
  • I’ve taken a liking to painting my toenails adorable colours, so maybe I’m more able to see my feet as “cute” now?
  • It makes me wet for some reason?!

As if this wasn’t bad enough, I find myself wanting to do things to Bride’s feet. I’m liking humiliation more and more, though I do sometimes find it hard to accept my enjoyment of it. My stunned “what the hell, I just got off on that?” reaction lasted the longest I’ve yet to experience after I had an orgasm while lying on the floor with Bride’s feet smothering my face (and what’s worse, I asked him to do this). I think I’d also enjoy some feet related acts of service, like massaging, cleaning and moisturizing them. I think I like dirty socks now too?! This might all be related to my fetish for boots (which I like worshiping in the same way I sometimes fantasize about worshiping feet), but I do not want to blame the sweet, sweet leather for this.

I’m still accepting it, but I can admit it now: I kinda like feet.

Wait, not accepting it is probably part of the appeal.

Posted in Kink, Personal | Leave a comment

Review: Tantus Sport

Tantus Sport dildo (teal) pictured on pink/white striped backgroundIn the past I haven’t been one to shy away from dildos with lots of girth and/or texture, but now my current health issues often make attempting to use such toys a painful endeavor. I still crave penetration despite this so anything that allows me to experience it with minimal discomfort is very much appreciated.

With a diameter of 1.25″/3.2cm and a length of 5.5″/14cm, the Tantus Sport isn’t too intimidating. It isn’t difficult to insert and works well as a warm up to bigger sizes. It is also available in a longer version (7.5″/19cm length).

I was pleased with the sensation that the bulbed head provided. While firm materials (glass, steel etc.) tend to give me the best G-spot stimulation, I am often too scared to use them now because of how often penetration is painful for me. Fear causes me to tense up and therefore just makes things worse, so I’ve never been so grateful for the existence of silicone dildos! The stimulation I get from the Sport isn’t as intense as it is with larger toys (like my beloved Anaconda) or those with firmer heads but I never feel bored while using it and perhaps more importantly, I can actually use it.

The Sport is unique in that its base has a teardrop shape rather than the typical circular Tantus base. I like this because I tend to suck at keeping toys upright during use. The pointed tip lets me know what angle I have the toy at. I also like having a bit more to grasp onto and I imagine it might work better in a harness than the old circular shape.

If you like your dildos to come in unusual colours, the Sport is one of the few to be available in teal and lime (if you’re a fan of these colours, get one from the closeout section before they sell out). The metallic silver version also looks quite stunning.

If you are accustomed to larger toys and don’t find penetration difficult you’ll probably prefer one of the bigger Tantus dildos, but otherwise the Sport is a good choice. It’s the perfect size for my current circumstances and feels good without being too uncomfortable. I prefer plugs over dildos anally, but the size and base make it a good choice for that too.

Thanks to Tantus for sending me the Sport to review!

Posted in Dildos, Reviews | 1 Comment

Review: The Ultimate Guide to Kink

The Ultimate Guide to Kink front cover The Ultimate Guide to Kink is edited by Tristan Taormino, a well-known author, sex educator and director of pornographic films. Essays by several other sex educators are included on a number of aspects of kink.

If you skipped over the contents page and just read the introduction and first couple of chapters, you might get the impression that this is a book for beginners. Meanings of the various roles and acronyms are explored, as are the basics of things like consent, safety and impact play, all which experienced kinksters are likely to be well aware of. The further you get into the book, the more you wonder who the intended audience is. There are many types of play featured that require quite a lot of care and experience to do safely and/or are likely to “squick” newbies and the less open-minded. I’m talking about things like fisting (vaginal and anal), needle play and mind fucks and taboo forms of roleplay. I have no problem with these things and in fact rather like that they are included. It means that the book covers topics that many other kink books only mention briefly or shy away from altogether. The age play chapter was particularly of interest to me because it focused on sexual age play, something that I had difficulty finding information on elsewhere. I just have to hope that their inclusion in a book that beginners may well be likely pick up doesn’t put some people off kink entirely.

Each chapter is written by a different author, which certainly provides a range of perspectives and writing styles but the book is somewhat disjointed and repetitive as a result. The authors usually include safety information about the topic they’re writing about. Instead of focusing only on that topic, precautions that relate to a number of aspects of kink are often stated as well. Safety is of course important, but reading “oh and make sure to give the bottom a cuddle afterwards” over and over gets annoying. It does however mean that you can just read the chapters that interest you and not miss out on anything too important.

This book is likely of more limited use to those who practice D/s without S&M, but otherwise it is inclusive of most types of kinksters. Many chapters are useful to both tops and bottoms. Other chapters are specific to one type of role, but dominants, submissives, sadists and masochists are all represented in these.

This isn’t likely to be a book you’ll read from cover to cover. Many topics are included. Some will interest you, others won’t. It doesn’t cover everything (naturally), but it’s certainly nice to see the inclusion of types of play that don’t usually get much of a mention in kink books. I’m not sure I’d recommend it to beginners due to some of the more “extreme” types of play covered. It seems like Taormino’s other book, 50 Shades of Kink, might be a better option for those newer to kink but I can’t comment on it as I haven’t read it.

I try to read as much about kink as I can and still feel that The Ultimate Guide to Kink was able to provide me with a lot of interesting information.

Posted in Books, Reviews | 2 Comments
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